As someone who's been in the wedding photography game for nearly a decade, I've seen my fair share of traditions that honestly just don’t sit right with me. Weddings are such a deeply personal experience, and while traditions can add meaning and structure, some of them feel outdated, unnecessary, or even counterproductive to creating a genuine, intimate celebration. So, let’s dive into five traditional wedding ideas that I just don’t agree with, and why I think you should consider shaking things up!
This one really gets me. Not to be dramatic, but the idea of not seeing or sleeping with your partner the night before your wedding feels like an unnecessary form of torture. Why spend one of the most important nights of your life apart from the person you love the most? Weddings are all about celebrating your connection, so why not soak up every second of it? I’ve seen couples who buck this tradition, and they always look so much more relaxed and connected on their wedding day. You’ve got a whole lifetime ahead to follow each other around the house — why not start by ignoring this outdated rule and spending your wedding eve together?
Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of surrounding yourself with your favorite people on your big day. But traditional bridal parties? They often come with a whole lotta of stress, expectations, and costs that can definitely be avoided. Instead of forcing your friends into matching outfits and orchestrating a logistical nightmare of photos and schedules, why not honor them in a different way? Consider more personalized roles for your special people!! If you want to include them in the dress code, assign a special color that makes you think of them or that they like to wear. Have them give a reading, tell a special story, help with a DIY project, or simply enjoy the day as honored guests. This not only saves everyone time and money, but it also strips away the expectations and lets everyone enjoy the day without the pressure.
Let’s talk about one of the oldest and, frankly, most outdated traditions: the dad giving away the bride. While I understand the sentiment behind it, the whole concept feels very “property exchange” to me. Weddings should be about two people choosing each other, not one person being passed from one man to another. I’ve photographed weddings where couples have reimagined this tradition in ways that feel much more meaningful and a lot less patriarchal. You can ABSOLUTELY still walk with your dad down the aisle, but let’s take away the “giving the bride” away undertone. You can also walk down the aisle with ANY special family member, sister, brother, son, daughter, or friend. Another option is walking down the aisle together, entering the ceremony hand-in-hand, or even just meeting at the altar can create a moment that feels like a true partnership rather than an exchange.
This might be controversial, but I am all about the first look. Waiting to see your partner until the ceremony can feel incredibly performative — saving that first look for in front of your entire guest list can make an already emotional moment feel more like a show than a private connection. When you do a first look, it’s just the two of you (and me, lurking with a camera of course), and it creates such a beautiful, intimate moment that’s just yours. Plus, from a photography perspective, it makes the rest of the day run so much more smoothly. You get those emotional, heartfelt photos out of the way early, which frees up time to relax and enjoy the celebration!
Here’s the deal: your wedding guest list should not be a concession to your family’s wishes. If you wouldn’t feel comfortable FaceTiming someone out of the blue, they probably don’t need to be at your wedding. I call this (trademark pending) the FaceTime rule. It’s simple, effective, and it helps keep your guest list to people who truly matter to you. This isn’t just about saving money (though that’s a nice bonus!), it’s about creating a wedding atmosphere filled with people who love and support you. Trust me, when you look around on your wedding day and see only those who lift you up, the day will feel so much more special.
Weddings should be a reflection of your love and your story — not a cookie-cutter event following outdated traditions. As a photographer, my goal is to capture your day in a way that feels true to who you are, not what tradition dictates. So, let’s make your wedding day uniquely yours by rethinking these old-school ideas. After all, your love story is one-of-a-kind, and your wedding should be too!
